From Their Perspective: a Bold Conversation with Samantha, Nick, and Zoe

We are supposed to be on a break between seasons of Boldly Stated. But, I couldn't pass up the chance to have this powerful conversation, and I definitely couldn't wait to share it with you.  In one of my favorite episodes of all time, Sam, Nick, and Zoe share their unfiltered perspectives on navigating the "pandemic" school year as students and young adults.

Samantha is a sophomore in college, Zoe is a freshman in college, and Nick is a senior in high school (graduating tomorrow!).   Oh, and in the spirit of full disclosure, Sam and Nick are my kids.

 This episode is dedicated to all the students and teachers. It wasn't always pretty. But, we did it! 

Transcript

Kim Bolourtchi: 0:00

This is Kim Bolourtchi and you're listening to Boldly Stated. So I'm supposed to be on a break right now. But an opportunity presented itself that I simply cannot pass up. I have with me today, Samantha, Zoe and Nick, who are in three different places in their educational path. And today, I have a chance to ask them directly what is going on in their world? I'll tell you that they're looking at me right now, really a little bit on edge is their chairs because they don't know what I'm about to ask them. And that's the way it goes here. Right. I never tell anyone what's about to happen. So are you guys a little nervous?

Nick: 0:39

Yeah, definitely a little bit. Yeah. Knowing knowing you I know, there's definitely something in store. So I'm for sure. waiting.

Kim Bolourtchi: 0:46

Okay, awesome. So one of the things I am really curious about and, you know, this is Boldly Stated, so there's no holding back, and you don't need to worry about hurting my feelings. I want you to be really honest with your answers. And as we're getting to this place, where this year that feels like 100 years is about to end. And I know this year has been really, really tough. So just really quickly, I would love to hear from each of you. What do you think you are taking out of this as you move forward? You want to start Sam? Yeah, absolutely.

Samantha: 1:21

I'm taking away from an educational standpoint, I think it's taught me a level of patience, I didn't realize that I would have to have, especially with the trickiness of online learning. All in all, it just taught me not to take anything for granted.

Kim Bolourtchi: 1:39

so Zoe How about you, what do you take out of this year of pandemic health?

Zoe: 1:45

I think the biggest thing for me is the appreciation of those who learned online prior to the pandemic, because it makes me have a respect for those who can do this and persevere in a way that I have found that I kind of tend to drop off with, with online learning.

Kim Bolourtchi: 2:02

Because it's rough.

Zoe: 2:03

Yeah, absolutely.

Kim Bolourtchi: 2:05

Nick?

Nick: 2:06

Yeah, definitely. I couldn't agree more with Sam, about the patience. Because, you know, I'm definitely the type of person that really likes to be hands on and, and learning with my friends and learning with my teachers and really interacting with what I'm doing, because that's how I feel like I can really enrich myself and what I'm learning. So this year being virtual for a good chunk of it, you know, it really was upsetting. So it really did teach me how to reach out and expand my horizon with my friends and my activities to keep myself busy. So I'm definitely looking forward to, to things going back to normal for sure, though,

Kim Bolourtchi: 2:39

That's awesome. And do you think they're really going to go back to normal?

Nick: 2:43

You know, personally, I feel like if people really just pretend that this is completely over, and that vaccine solved it, I feel like it, it will never go back to normal. Because honestly, the the fact that people are already taking their masks off in public is something that I don't feel like we're completely ready for. So you guys want to add to that at all? What do you think?

Zoe: 3:06

I think normal is a tricky word to use in this situation, I think normal will never be our original normal prior to the pandemic. And I think that, you know, there's a new courtesy, with masks moving forward, I think there's a new courtesy with kind of how we interact with humans and you know, personal space and the courtesy around being sick, regardless of being COVID, or whatever it be.

Kim Bolourtchi: 3:32

Yeah. Are you are you freaked out by this idea of it not going back to normal?

Samantha: 3:37

Not necessarily. Because every chance to dip your foot in something different, like shows you something different and gives you a different perspective. However, I think going into it with the idea of the things that we had before is just going to set yourself up to be behind I think having an open mind and knowing that things are going to have to change around a little bit. And there are going to be some things that you're going to stop and say, Well, this wasn't like this before. And that's something that you're going to have to deal with. It's something we're going to have to work around. Nick do you want to add to that?

Nick: 4:14

Yeah, Yeah. So I really think that like everything you have to adapt to survive with the changing times, just like we always have, just like, you know, with new phones, you have to learn how they work with new cars. You have to adapt to all the buttons and teach your parents how to use them. And I'm sorry, Mom, you said to be honest, so there goes my Saturday. Nice. Oh, no, but I really feel like if people don't adapt to the change, they'll be left behind.

Kim Bolourtchi: 4:40

So let me ask you this. Do you think that your generation or my generation is going to come out ahead on the other side of the pandemic?

Nick: 4:51

I'm sorry, to my generation, but I don't think we have a chance of coming out ahead. I think that honestly, the way that our generation is Seeing the pandemic as kind of a light topic and honestly, moving forward and how a lot of you know, some people that I know and that I guarantee you guys know that don't really take it seriously. I feel like as time goes on, the more severe topics and matters that our generation has to handle, will not be, we won't be able to handle them.

Samantha: 5:21

I would like to counter Okay, I may please known, the reason I do is yes, I have faith in my generation. However, I'm not going to speak for my entire generation. I am going to say though, that I still believe that our generation is influenced in part by our parents, and by the older generations above us that have had more years on our life have seen more things, and the things that they're seeing, despite us getting older and becoming adults of our own. We're still looking and we're still listening, and we can still hear. And I think that with the newfound awareness that our generation has about all controversial topics, personally, I think if we get our shit together, because it's boldly stated, we might actually be able to come out as equals ever.

Kim Bolourtchi: 6:10

What do you think Zoe?

Zoe: 6:11

I think there's actually going to rise on social media, I mean, with tik tok and Instagram, and there's been a large influence of kind of originality and being yourself. And I don't know if it's because of the pandemic. And because people are given more time to really like, sit with their thoughts and be by themselves. But I believe that moving forward, there is a lot more of like, some found independence within our generation for sure. And found like awareness of who people are, and who they really want to become. I love that. I agree.

Nick: 6:48

I want to pose a question to to honestly, everyone, because I would love to hear your guys's opinions on this. And anyone who's listening. You know, there's there's always that debate, whether it's on Facebook, whether it's in person, whether it's over lunch, whether it's your generation, or our generation, you know, your generation, it's the news, it's, you know, whether it's Fox, CNN, it's the blue in the red, right? It's the post on Facebook, about masks, will you see, for our generation, it's the tick tock, the Snapchat, the blue in the red, it's almost like a pre divider to what you guys are already experiencing. And so it's like, even though we're to now and and we're not listening to the fox news, or the CNN, tik tok has been that platform that I feel like is already starting to divide teens and younger kids who have no idea what they're even fighting over, you know, reading some of the comments. And in these social media platforms, it's like, you know, people think that their comments and who they're siding with doesn't matter. And so I would love to think that if you guys agree with me, or you disagree with me, I would love to hear that. I agree. wholeheartedly. I think you just post that.

Samantha: 7:55

Absolutely correct. I think that there has been so much influence without even realizing it. Because we're so in touch with social media, we kind of always have technology has really lifted and taken off as we've grown up. And we've all I, you know, we've all had parents who've let us indulge in this technology. And with this new platform, I see comments, one that confused me. And two, I feel exactly that they kind of pull away from that individuality, because they see 1.1 million likes on a post. And they could comment something truthful, that completely disagrees. But they know that the counter argument is going to be a flood of comments that are not nice, and won't go to support who they are. And that sucks. Absolutely.

Zoe: 8:46

So 100% agree that there is Yeah, the division of where we're getting our reliable sources from? And what are our current generation and younger generations are listening to and how they're moving forward with division of politics, division of water would be really,

Kim Bolourtchi: 9:08

how much of it do you think is coming from parents?

Nick: 9:12

You know, I, I think a lot of it is, and here's why, you know, we've always had the privilege and the awesome pleasure of eating dinner with you and dad. And you know, our guests that come over and we have dinner and we don't talk about, you know, our days, like regular people, I must say, you know, we really dive into those topics that a lot of people don't want to touch because it's awkward or it's uncomfortable. But you know, you have always made that comfortable in that uncomfortable space even more comfortable. So anything that we have felt that, you know, we may want to discuss, we talk about and I feel like today, parents are a lot more disconnected with their kids, but I really do feel like it. It stems from the parents. Do you think that

Kim Bolourtchi: 9:54

kids don't have independent thoughts, or do you think that they're just afraid to express them?

Samantha: 10:01

I think kids definitely have independent thought. And I think they are willing to express them. I think it's the social backlash that they're worried about more than anything. And that comes from their parents as well. It's not always the dinner table conversations. It's not always the sit down, and let's spill it all out. It's the things we hear under the adult breath. And the things we hear in passing the looks that we see. It's not just verbal, it's body language. It's, it encompasses like a whole other area of an analysis, basically, of our parents, and just adults in our lives, they can be teachers as well, like it doesn't necessarily have to be in the family to have more of an impact than I think we think. So I think, yes, to both and no to both. Yeah.

Nick: 10:47

I just wanted to say, you know, how you said something about teachers, right, being, you know, those people that we we take, you know, ideas from and we really look up to, well, I've really noticed that, more than ever. The people that have the most likes that have the most influence, that are sponsored by all the brands, those are the ones we tend to listen to, regardless of where they're getting their information. For instance, you could have someone who has 100 Million Likes, say, you know, Hey, guys, this shirt is no longer cool. And I guarantee you so many people wouldn't even think as to why the shirt was cool, or not cool. They would just listen.

Kim Bolourtchi: 11:21

Yeah, I mean, to your point, um, when Elon Musk was on Saturday Night Live, he made a joke about Bitcoin, a joke, and it crashed the next day. So I mean, if that doesn't make your point, I can't think of another example. Yeah. Of how influenced by influencers we are.

Nick: 11:41

And you know, I love how you brought that up. Because recently, I was watching a, you know, a video on YouTube. And a YouTuber who has absolutely never talked about cryptocurrency was talking about it more than he ever had. And it was Bitcoin, he was talking about how he had to buy it, he was, you know, constantly watching it. And so it's amazing how someone like Elon Musk in that position can simply make a joke and change someone's entire day. So,

Kim Bolourtchi: 12:06

yeah, you know, I sort of had this opinion that my generation, I mean, the the split that you see, you know, on social media and on Facebook, it's difficult to stomach. I mean, people are so dug in to their positions. But as, as a teacher who works in in the colleges, right, I can see the students open to different perspectives. And that gives me hope for your generation, you've heard me say that over and over and over. But with this influx of social media, and you know, the division already happening, right, so young, what do you guys think is the answer? I mean, how do we bring people back together? In this time?

Samantha: 12:49

That is a hard question. Yeah, one I definitely don't have an answer to now. But I think that if we move forward, not thinking about ourselves as much as we currently do, because I I definitely feel like our society generally is more individualistic than a lot of other places out there. And I am free to say that because I definitely think about myself and then have to step back and be like, wait, yeah, this might be extremely uncomfortable for me. But it's better than everyone else.Like, God forbid, I happen to walk by someone and I'm asymptomatic. For whatever reason, I have no idea. And I happen to walk by somebody's grandmother, without a mask. Like, it's just one of those things that you just have to be more aware of everyone else, then you're like just putting others over yourself. We've been telling, you know, we've been told that since kindergarten. But I think it's finally time we actually started listening to it. And it doesn't necessarily have to be with masks. It's just, it's just common decency.

Nick: 13:45

It's a hard question on how we're going to bring it back together. But hopefully, as time goes on, people will stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, and start focusing on how they can be better. And you know, how their being better can affect those around them.

Samantha: 14:03

And taking all the positives from what we've learned so far, you know, like all the things that we realized that we have taken for granted, like take that and make that a positive in your day.

Zoe: 14:12

And I mean, you've spoken about this before, but it's resilience, it's how we move forward, and how are we going to persevere with the resilience that we have basically gone through the pandemic with, I mean, really, everyone has overcome so much in this pandemic, if they want to acknowledge it or not. It's there. And I mean, it's been tough on everyone, regardless of what situation you are in. And I think it's important to realize that we all have gone through the same thing, and we're all still currently going through the steps and the motions of getting to that normalcy or something. That's not what we are in right now.

Kim Bolourtchi: 14:50

Absolutely. I'm glad you brought that up. Because I've been thinking a lot about the fact that, like I when I was growing up, I didn't go through a pandemic like you just did, and I could have even imagined it like the thought of it would have terrified me. But for me, the thing that I always wanted to be was strong. Like, I always wanted to be strong, I wanted people to think of me as strong. And so there were times where I didn't feel strong, but I acted strong so that people would lean on me and rely on me and look at me and be like, Oh, she's strong. That was like my go to, you know, my badge of honor. And I no longer believe that that is the badge of honor, I honestly believe that resilience is the badge of honor. Strong means that you don't bend you don't break, right? Like, you're just like this still thing that doesn't ever give you just hold. But if you're resilient, then you're brave enough to fall, and then you get back up.

Nick: 15:44

Yeah. And you just got to move forward not giving the Fuck, I'm serious. I'm sorry. You know, too many people, they, they're so worried about what everyone else is doing or whatever, what else thinks just do you, you know, life is too short. And I really feel like they're worrying too much about issues that will never have anything to do with them. So

Kim Bolourtchi: 16:02

going back to the point about 1.5 million likes on social media. Exactly. I would say you shouldn't even be paying attention to that. So I'm gonna ask you guys a question. Um, and I'm going to ask you to be a little bit real here, a little bit vulnerable. But since we're talking about resilience, I would love it. And I'm going to preface that by saying this. One of the things that I find most heartwarming, and also most heartbreaking is that it's really hard, I think, for people your age, to admit what's hard, because there's this idea that you're supposed to have it already figured out. Right? Am I right about that? Yeah. Right. And so one of the things that I feel I feel it with my students more when I'm in person with them, but but I can even feel it over zoom, right? Is this idea you're, you're 18, 19 and 20. And you have this feeling that you have to already know, you have to be sure. And that if you don't know, and you're not sure, and you haven't figured it out, and you're not handling it all really, really well that somehow you're going to disappoint somebody. And the truth is that that's that's internal pressure you're putting on yourselves and and not actually, what is expected of you at all. But yet, so many people feel like like that is real. And you don't understand that everybody else is feeling that too. And so I'm going to ask you, in the spirit of letting people who are listening know, because a lot of my students listen, and a lot of people your age, do listen to the show, I would love for each of you, if you don't mind. To give just one example of something that was really hard for you this year, that you feel like resilience has helped you pull through. Please don't feel pressured. You can pass if you if you want to you don't have to share, but

Nick: 17:54

Pass. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It was a joke, I swear. No. So I'll go first. So right off the bat, something that was really hard for me was my best friends that you know, I have I had an interesting middle school experience. And, you know, I switched to Whitfield. And I made an amazing group of friends that we always had each other's backs. And it was a super small school. So we did everything together. And sure enough, I had this, this feeling that, you know, one of my friends started talking about Mizzou. And you know, I heard a second one talking about Mizzou, and then eventually all of them had applied to Mizzou. So eventually, when I made the decision to go to Denver, I found out that five of my really good friends, we're all going and rooming together at Mizzou. And that was really hard for me, because they had already started this, you know, Mizzou crew. Even before I was I was able to, like, you know, get to hang out with them. And it felt like they had started college already, while we were still finishing high school. And yet, it was like that idea of, you know what, I'm just gonna make the most of it. It wasn't fun. But it definitely, definitely helped me a lot, because now I'm really excited to go to Denver and explore and make a ton of new friends. So.

Kim Bolourtchi: 19:14

That's awesome. Thank you for sharing. That is really hard. Transitions are hard anyway, absolutely. But when all of your friends are going one place together, you're going someplace completely different. That's definitely rough.

Zoe: 19:28

So as someone who just finished her first year at college, I'm thrilled to hear that you are very excited to go to Denver. And it's so exciting to hear. But I think the hardest thing for me was making the decision to either take a gap year or go to college. And it was during this time of I'm not sure what's gonna happen. You know, when passed, you can look at other people's experiences and say, Wow, they're having the college experience. But you know, this year, no one is getting unexperienced and you have to make the decision as to whether or not you want to, you know, create what, what you have and cultivate something new, and come out of it, you know, changed in different and you're not having the same experience or if you want to kind of stay where you are, and remain at home and work. And I think the hardest thing for me was to make that decision and to persevere and go to college. And of course, you know, I've come out with so many lessons, and I've grown so much as a person, but it's hard to say whether I would repeat that or stay at home. Yeah.

Kim Bolourtchi: 20:35

I mean, you graduated, like you had the senior year that was literally the lockdown like it was the you know, the the drive by graduation, I mean, the whole, like, you literally had nothing that was expected in your senior year, and like the shock of it all, right. So um, yeah, I can't imagine how, how hard all of it really was, but you did it. You did it, you did it.

Zoe: 21:03

I came out on top. And I've grown so much. And I think the pandemic has taught me a lot. And I really wouldn't change it. I mean, we can't, but I really wouldn't change it for anything.

Kim Bolourtchi: 21:13

That's awesome. Thank you.

Samantha: 21:16

There's a lot to be honest of challenges this year. I think one of them in particular was I was given the opportunity by my family to move away from campus. And I got to learn how to live completely alone. And it makes you very thankful for the things that you're given.While you are, but it also teaches you who you are a little bit more. And it teaches you what tools you have in your toolbox and how to apply yourself in situations where you didn't in the past because you didn't have to. Lucky for me, I do have the best campanion in the world, which is the Siberian Husky Raven. She's the coolest. So she definitely did help tremendously. But all in all, like to be able to have gotten to do what I have been able to do this past winter, work with children and still be able to, to enjoy the things that we didn't really know who we're going to have anyway, um, in addition to doing school online, is the biggest blessing in the in the world. But it was incredibly difficult, I think more difficult than you realize in the moment, and then you take yourself out of it. And you're like, wow, I think I did that. That's pretty monumental. So it took a lot of strength at times to to pull yourself out of a hole and be like you, you're fine. And everyone else is fine. But I did it, and I'm stoked. So I'm just very thankful at the end of the day. So

Nick: 23:10

yeah, no, I really do think that we should change Raven's name though, because dad needs to stop answering

Samantha: 23:21

So my dog's name is Raven. She's a black Husky, she's gorgeous. But her I'm a nickname type of gal. And her nickname is Ray, like Ray Ray. And she'll be in the kitchen and I'll be like "Ray, get out of the way" or "move." And my dad whose name is Ray will turn around and be like, what? Every single time?

Kim Bolourtchi: 23:43

Yeah, it's an issue. I have to tell you from from my perspective, you are all incredible. Just incredible. And I am so proud of all of you. And I'm so proud of all the students that I had this year and all the students I didn't have this year. I'm just so proud of your resilience, and I celebrate you. Because, you know, knowing what you've been through and knowing what you worked through and knowing what you fell down and got back up through. It's, you know, when people say it's going to help you through the rest of your life. It's not a cliche. We spend so much time as parents trying to protect you from things that will hurt you that there are a lot of times that you don't have the chance to see what you're made of. And then comes a pandemic, where parents cannot adjust the variables enough to protect you because the rules are changed for all of us. And in so many ways. you're forced to fend for yourselves, you know and to negotiate a new normal and even though it's really really hard, you realize what you're capable of doing and watching You all do that? It's it's a real privilege and honor, honestly. So,

Nick: 25:05

thank you so much. And I, you know, I really appreciate that. And I want to say one thing, one last thing, this the last night I've, I really occupied too much this podcast, but I just want everyone listening and listening, just putting this out there to, you know, enjoy the little things and to celebrate your small victories, you know whether that be going and you know, taking a walk after not walking or going out and talking to a friend that, you know, maybe you really didn't want to reach out to but you did or drink water? You seriously? Yes, you're my sister. Definitely drinking enough water is one of them. But you know, just celebrating the small things because everyone has gone through this time of awkwardness. And a lot of people have lost a lot. And there have been times where people think that they have nothing, but you have to remember what you do have and what you've accomplished. So,

Kim Bolourtchi: 26:01

absolutely. So celebrate the small things. Yes. And tomorrow we celebrate you. Yeah, graduating from high school.

Nick: 26:09

Somehow I made it.

Kim Bolourtchi: 26:11

Yeah, there was never really any doubt.

Zoe: 26:13

And as a student, I really want to say thank you to my professors, and to you as a teacher and to any teachers out there. Oh my gosh, yes. Honestly, I feel like it's been them and my parents and anyone who is backing me up, that is still there to say you got this.

Samantha: 26:29

Definitely second thought for sure. And thank you so much for having this. The surprises definitely worth it and fun and enjoyable. And I listened to this podcast every time you release something, so I'm going to be excited to hear my own voice. Maybe not. But this has been wonderful. And thank you No, yeah, seriously. Thank you.

Kim Bolourtchi: 26:51

Thank you. It wasn't too torturous was it?

Nick: 26:53

No, no, no. Can we go?

Kim Bolourtchi: 26:56

Yes. Okay, you can go.

Nick: 26:58

I'm kidding.

Kim Bolourtchi: 26:59

I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Sam, Zoe and Nick, as much as I enjoyed sitting down with the three of them. I'm dedicating this episode to all of the students who are graduating this spring, to all of the teachers who thought through technology and changes in curriculum and all of the things that challenged us this year. And to all of the students who showed up even when they didn't want to get out of bed and we're finding it hard to be motivated. We did it we made it through this year. This is tangible proof that you can do hard things and I am so excited to celebrate you. And as I'm signing off this podcast on this random day in May literally there are fireworks going off outside, so there's that too. H ve a great summer and I'll see ou in the fall. This is Kim olourtchi and you've been listen ng to Boldly Sta