I Hated Running ... Until

I hated running my whole life. I was really bad at it. It was hard. So, like any rational person, I avoided it at all costs. Then, a year ago, I decided to try it again. The strangest thing happened. 

Transcript

Kim Bolourtchi: 0:00

This is Kim Bolourtchi and you're listening to Boldly Stated. So a year ago, almost to the day, I decided to start running. And while that's really no big deal, it's just that I hated running my entire life. This was the one activity that I avoided at all costs. When I was a kid in school, and we would have to run the track, I would get a headache and have to go to the nurse, or I would fake an injury of some kind just to avoid it. Now, in all honesty, I can't remember when I started hating to run, but I know that I did. And I also know the reason I hated it so much was because I was bad at it like really, really bad. I was really slow. And I just was awkward and uncomfortable. And I knew that if it felt this bad, it had to look even worse. So there was that. So this was just something I was not going to do. And I avoided it pretty much my entire life. Last year when the pandemic hit, and I could not dance in the studio, I had this thought, maybe I am not really bad at running. Maybe I just, you know, have built this story up over the years, because that happens, right? When you make up your mind as a kid sometimes that you're bad at something, then you might not be bad at all, you just sort of carry that forward for a really long time. And in truth, I teach people to not let their stories from when they're young define them when they're older. And I'm always encouraging my kids and my students to you know, do things you think you're bad at, give it another go just to prove to yourself that it's different this time around. So I got really excited and really inspired and I was like, yeah, you know what, I'm probably not that bad at running. I'm gonna try it. And so I got some shoes and headed out. And wouldn't you know it? Yeah, I am really bad at running. My memory of how it felt and how much I disliked it was real. That that was not a, you know, an embellished memory over the years, like literally, it still felt horrible in my body. But I was determined to figure it out, right, at this point, I'm just stubborn. And it's like, well, I'm not going to accept defeat here. This running thing is not going to get the best of me, I'm going to master it. So every day I went out and I tried to run. And my mindset was, I'm going to just like go a little bit. And I'm going to approach this with, you know, the mindset of a determined warrior. I'm going to put tons of energy into every step and every single breath. And I kept waiting for that moment when it would start to become enjoyable. And it didn't happen. And I kept thinking, you know, I see these people who run for 20 years, and they love it. And my own daughter was a cross country runner. And it was like when she has a bad day she puts on her shoes, she goes out she comes back. She's a different person. I know what running can do for people, but it wasn't happening for me. And I didn't know why. I just was you know, out there grinding it out, like every step every breath every single day. One day, about four months in, and I hate to admit that it took this long for me to figure this out. But I'm going to be honest about it. Because I think this is true of a lot of people's journey with things. My brain was just full of thoughts when I went out for my run, and so I didn't have the mindset to think about my steps, or the effort that I wanted to put into every step in every breath. Right. I wasn't focused on the physicality of my run. I was thinking about the pandemic, I was kind of worried about my kids, I was worried about my students trying to figure out how the fuck to download a zoom recording. But that's a separate issue. And so I was just running. And what I realized about halfway through was that when I needed to run up a hill, I was naturally putting in more effort. And when I got to a flat, I was kind of just naturally backing off. And when I got to a downhill, I was literally just letting my legs carry me one step after the other. I wasn't exerting any effort. And as I was allowing this just sort of natural progression of my body responding to the terrain, and not forcing it to take every single step the same way. I think I had my first good Brian, my brain was able to process all these different thoughts and I felt clearer and better. And I came home actually smiling. I wasn't super out of breath. I wasn't super tired, and I actually felt kind of good. Fortunately, I was aware that I hadn't put the same kind of effort into every step that I've been doing the time before and I think it was only because I was so much less tired. So the next day I kind of set out to do this experiment like what if I just try this in the same way. I run harder when I have to run uphill. And I kind of take it easy when I'm running on the flat, and then I coast and just let my body and the momentum of gravity bring me on the downhill. And I did it again. And it was amazing. I actually felt the enjoyment. And as I was running this way, and I started to do this day after day, I did start to feel the joy, because I wasn't pushing my body, from my brain, from this agenda of I must take every step with the same effort, I was letting my body respond to the effort that was required, I was able to get out of my head, which was telling me like, you have to fight for every step, you have to fight for every breath, because this is just so hard, right? And you're so bad at it, to just allowing it to happen in response to what was in front of me in the moment. And then I had this realization, literally, this is life, right? We think that we need to put this maximum effort into every single thing we do. So it will work out in a particular way. But not everything requires maximum effort. There are things that we do naturally and easily, like coasting down a hill, right. And when life gives us a moment where we can just coast down a hill, we don't need the extra effort, we can take a breath, so that we have the energy when we need to run up a hill. Now a year ago, this analogy would have meant absolutely nothing to me. So I want to put it into terms we can hopefully all relate to. As far as what could happen on a daily basis. A flat would be something like just an ordinary day where you're carrying on as normal, it'd be a day where you might even think it's boring, because nothing is happening. That seems challenging, and nothing is happening that's really very exciting. It's the kind of day that an easy, steady amount of energy will get you through just fine. A downhill would be an example where you've had a win, where you've gotten some great feedback or you accomplish something that you set out to do. And you're feeling really, really good about it. It's a moment where your hard work has paid off. And you can literally coast without doing a thing. Now the hard part is to resist the tendency to start putting in effort, usually in the middle of some really great downhill moment, we start thinking about, what do I need to do next. And we start adding energy in a place where it's not really needed yet. An example of an uphill would be a pain in the butt project, something that is going to take a lot of energy, a lot of collaboration, maybe you're working with people who aren't cooperating or the project seems really big and undefined. It could be a complicated relationship that just requires a lot of energy. Or maybe it's something where you're just simply trying to figure out all the pieces and you can't quite figure out how to make it all work. an uphill is something that truly requires your energy, your effort, your focus and your concentration. And if you've given yourself the liberty to enjoy the flat, and just sort of let it happen without adding extra energy you don't need and Coast through the downhills letting the momentum of that victory, that celebration, that amazing moment just carry you forward, you will have the energy to tackle that uphill. Understanding that not everything requires the same degree of effort. Not everything is the same kind of hard makes a really big difference in your ability to tackle things that seem really daunting. I truly thought the way to tackle running was to put maximum effort into every step. That's how I've always approached something that felt like a really big challenge. But the truth is, that isn't always necessary. In going back out there and doing something that I thought I was really bad at. And that was something I really didn't like to do. I learned that by allowing myself to just respond to what's in front of me in the moment. Instead of having this preconceived idea about how hard every single piece of it would be. I gave myself the ability to see that an uphill is different than a flat a flat is different than a downhill and each requires a very, very different response in terms of the amount of energy and attention I need to give it. So I want to encourage you to look for the ease in the things that you are convinced are really really hard. You might be making them harder than they need to be. I know I was. See where you can identify the flats, see where you can appreciate those downhills, and save that energ for the uphills where you reall really need to climb? This ha been Kim Bolourtchi, and you'r listening to Boldly Stated thank you so much for tuning in And as always, I welcome you questions, your comments, you thoughts and your suggestions You can reach me at Kim a boldly stated.com. Until nex week, have a great one