A Heart to Serve

In the midst of a crisis, a  private citizen forms a non-profit that has served over 1500 meals in its first 3 weeks.  An elected official chooses to hop on a plane to the Ritz in Cancun.
 
Having a duty to serve doesn't mean you will, and an absence of one doesn't mean you won't. In fact, the title has nothing to do with it. Listen in to this week's episode of Boldly Stated to find out what makes the difference.... and why we should care. 

Transcript

Kim Bolourtchi: 0:00

This is Kim Bolourtchi, and you're listening to Boldly Stated, last week on the podcast, I interviewed Tracey Selingo in an episode called Fork over Love, and it has really touched many, many of you. I want to thank you so much for your feedback for your contributions and for your support of Fork over Love and the great work that they're doing. It has been sitting with me all week, actually, just the enormity of this project, and what Tracey and her team have taken on and the good that they're doing. You know, this is a private citizen. And in fact, her professional background is in another area altogether. But yet, she saw a need at a time of true desperation and mobilized a small army to serve people in her community who were needing some help. At the same time, this week, while I've been listening to your feedback, and the outpouring of support for Tracey's project, I'm watching in the news, as Texas is under this deep freeze and suffering without utilities, without electricity, and people are literally freezing to death and starving. And Ted Cruz, a politician from the state, decides to take a vacation to Cancun, he goes to the Ritz Carlton with his family. Now, I will be the first to say I don't like Ted Cruz. I didn't like him before this. So there's my bias on the table. But this isn't really even about Ted Cruz per se. I think that all week, I've been struggling with this idea of how is it that on one hand, you have someone who's just a private citizen with no duty to serve, who takes it upon herself to create this entire organization that has now served over 1500 meals in a period of like three weeks. And then a politician who has actually taken an oath to serve the state and at its most dire moment, takes his kids and wife and gets on a plane and goes to the Ritz Carlton in Cancun. My first thought was, well, maybe some people are just better humans than other people. Maybe some people are just wired to serve each other and and other people aren't. Now I admit, that would be a really simple answer. But I don't think it's right. I actually think that how you behave in a crisis where where you land in these moments of having an opportunity to serve and sitting back and doing nothing or taking a trip to Cancun, as opposed to feeding your neighbors comes down to two things: where you focus and how much practice you've had. Now, I want you to know that even a small shift in either of these two areas is bound to make a difference. So I want to challenge you for the next 10 minutes or so, as you're listening to think about where you really sit on these two issues. So let's start with focus. Now, admittedly, this one is tricky, because anytime we are faced with what feels like a life or death situation, we're going to be focused on surviving. This is true for pretty much everyone. So it's normal and appropriate that we would focus inward and on ourselves and our immediate family when something really scary happens. That's the first place you're going to focus. I remember years ago, my, my daughter was sick, she was a baby. And the power went out in St. Louis, we had an ice storm. And we just could not get our house warm. She was coughing and wheezing. And I was making fire in the fireplace trying to keep her warm, I had her bundled in blankets and I was so scared and so afraid for her survival. There was nothing in that moment that would have given me the bandwidth to think about anybody else. In that moment, I didn't think about my neighbors, I didn't think about my friends, I was just solely focused on her. And I say this, because I think this is what we all do in a way. And I don't think that we can be criticized for it. I think you know, when something is acutely scary and happening to you, of course, you're the person who's best situated to take care of that threat. The issue of focus comes into play, though, in how long we stay there. So once that acute threat passes, do we stay focused just on ourselves? Do we stay in that space of just like, what do I need? What do I want? How do I take care of myself? Or do we find the space to naturally look and see who else needs our help? And I think this is really the difference between a servant's heart and this individual idea. If you view yourself as completely isolated and kind of alone in whatever it is you're experiencing, then it's much easier to just, you know, focus every person for themselves. If you see yourself as part of a collective, and you understand that we are all connected in our ability to impact each other. Then it becomes natural to immediately shift your thinking once you're okay and your loved ones are okay to Who can I help and how Can I help them? And I think about this because Tracey in doing Fork Over Love, you know, in the midst of a pandemic saw this need to connect restaurants and people who are hungry, and did that, right she she was able to make that happen. Because her focus was outward, which is, you know, my community is in pain. And I am potentially in a position to alleviate some of that suffering with this idea, not even knowing if it would work, she was willing to do that, because she sees herself as part of the collective. When you look at the behavior of Ted Cruz, in this instance, who is an elected official who actually has a duty to serve, his focus remained on himself and his family, and what felt good for them. Even though the city he served was undergoing this major crisis, he wasn't focused on, you know, the people who are suffering or looking for a way to alleviate that he just stayed focused on himself. And so, where we focus in these moments, and how we view ourselves in terms of the connection we have to each other, has everything to do with whether we will actually serve or not. And so what I want to suggest is that while it's completely appropriate to be focused, you know, inward and in your immediate circle, when you are facing a crisis, of course, the minute that acuteness passes, if you shift your thinking to Okay, who around me needs some help, what can I do, then you immediately are using that servant's heart. And that in and of itself, makes a really, really big difference in these moments. The next thing that makes the difference, a huge difference is practice. How much practice have you had in serving. And, again, I hate to keep talking about Ted Cruz, but but he's like a textbook example of what not to do this week. And he keeps talking about his kids. He's got a 10 year old and a 12 year old and they wanted to go on a vacation in the middle of this huge crisis in the city. Now, I am a mom, and I am absolutely 100% Sure. And I know for a fact, I have been guilty of wanting to protect my kids from awful experiences and cuddle them up and take them away to somewhere better. I get that actually, as a parent, but what I have come to learn is that we teach them the value of service by demonstrating the value of service. So what are you teaching? If your response to a crisis is, well, let's get the hell out of Dodge, let's get on a plane because we have the means to do so, and go to the Ritz in Cancun, as opposed to Hey, you guys, I know this is really, really scary, and it's cold. And, you know, a lot of people are suffering right now. So as a family, what can we do to help them? Can you imagine the impact that would have had on a 10 and 12 year old, you know, they're old enough to be part of the solution, they're old enough to, to do something to help in the community, that would be giving them practice at service. I have found unequivocally that the times my children are suffering the most, the times when they feel like life is most unfair, snd when they feel just desperate and hopeless, there is one thing that is always proven to help give them perspective and move them forward. And that is to engage in service for others. There is nothing to help pull you out of where you are, and your own mindset of, you know, I am suffering to being part of reducing someone else's suffering quicker than serving and helping. So I have to say that a lot of times I think people who run away from the opportunity to serve or who stay focused on themselves perhaps haven't had the practice. And I want to challenge you if it is your your pattern your nature to, you know, a protect your kids by shuttling them up and taking them somewhere safe and beautiful whenever something awful happens. Maybe rethink that a little bit and give them an opportunity to do some good for someone else. Give them the practice, help them develop the muscle to serve. And for yourself. If if you're somebody who tends to get overwhelmed by the ways that you're suffering, and I'm not saying it's not legitimate, trust me. I'm just suggesting that practicing acts of service for other people, is truly the quickest way to not only give yourself some perspective, but to help shift the way you're feeling about the way things are going, find a say to go help someone else, truly help them. This is how we exist together. This is how we heal together, when we can focus beyond ourselves and our immediate needs once they are met. And when we can practice, the act of serving, it really does make a difference. You know, one of the things that has stuck with me most from my conversation with Tracey is the story about people who are coming to receive these meals. People who do not have food security at this moment, but who are still putting $1 in the pay it forward jar with a love note. Think about that for a minute. People who don't have food security who are living meal to meal still putting $1 that they probably can't spare in the pay it forward jar. So someone else can also be fed. Clearly, no act of service or love is too small to make a difference. So today, I challenge you find one way that you can focus beyond yourself and engage in just one act of kindness or service. If you are a parent, involve your kids, bring them with you have them do it too. If they're too young to participate, tell them what you did and why you did it. It's never too early to start and friends. It's also never too late. This is Kim Bolourtchi, and you've been listening to Boldly Stated. If you're loving the podcast, consider sharing it with a friend. And also remember I love hearing from you. You can email me at Kim at boldlystated.com with your comments, your feedback, your show suggestions, or just to say Hi. Thanks so much for tuning in. And I'll see you next week.