Who are you Waiting On?

Ever had an idea you believed in—until someone else’s doubt made you second-guess yourself? 
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In this episode, Kim shares why waiting for approval can shrink your vision, how she learned to trust her own belief (even when it was hard), and the one question that can help you move forward without anyone else’s permission. Let’s talk about what happens when you stop outsourcing your confidence—and start building what’s next, your way.

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Transcript

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You're listening to get unruly, the podcast where we smash the rules that keep you small and build what's next with radical clarity and bold confidence. I'm Kim bolourchi. Let's get unruly. So I'm curious. Have you ever had an idea you were sure was your very best ever. You thought about it, got more and more excited until you just couldn't hold it in anymore. And then finally shared it with someone you trusted, someone you were sure was going to get it. And instead of them being super, super excited, you got the look, the look that said, Wait, what? I don't get it. And maybe they said, I don't understand that's not going to work. Maybe they told you that's never been done. Why do you think you can do it? Or maybe, as someone once said to me, are you on crack? And what happens most of the time, for you, for me, for almost all of us, is we retreat. We second guess, we start telling ourselves maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all, and sometimes this is where the idea ends. But here's what you need to know, the idea could have been bad. It could have been brilliant. The point is we gave someone else the power to decide its fate before it ever had a chance to breathe. I used to work with a leader. We'll call him John, just so I don't expose anyone. He was really sharp, always thinking big, always coming up with new ideas. But every time he shared one, his boss shut him down. He would say things like, that's not realistic. That's too risky. That's just not how we do things. And it happened so many times that eventually John stopped speaking up. He started to doubt himself, and finally he left the company to start his own Now, that sounds like a happy ending, right? No more approvals. His own shop. Complete freedom. But here's the twist that no one sees coming. When John built his own company, he repeated the same exact pattern. This time, he was the one shutting down ideas. He was the one who couldn't see the brilliance in front of him. Why? Because if you spend years outsourcing your belief, you don't just lose trust in your own ideas, you lose the ability to recognize and nurture it in others. John had internalized this message, ideas can't be trusted unless someone else signs off. So when bold ideas showed up on his team, he treated them exactly the way his boss treated him, dismissive, skeptical, quick, to shut it down. And that's the cycle. When you don't trust yourself, you end up passing that down. You end up passing down the same disbelief. You wind up recreating the very environment that you wanted to escape. And I'll tell you, I've lived this myself. Years ago, I started something called Project Be confident. I believed in it with my whole entire heart. I knew it mattered, but when I first shared it with my dad, who loves me, his first words were, who's gonna pay for that? You're a lawyer, like your hourly rate is so much more than you'll ever be able to make with this thing. I was absolutely devastated, gutted, because when someone you love and trust questions your vision, it cuts really deep. And then it got even harder. The registrations didn't roll in. It took quite some time before people started signing up for the first event. And so I had these moments of doubt, moments where I wondered if maybe he was right, maybe I was completely delusional, and this idea that young girls and teenagers needed some help advocating for themselves under pressure was just, you know, something I believed in, but nobody else did. But here's the difference, I did believe in it, I still believed in it, and I stayed the course. I kept going, even when approval wasn't forthcoming, even when the proof wasn't there. And you know what project be confident ended up changing a lot of lives. That experience taught me something I will never forget, if you wait for other people's belief to fuel you, you'll quit before the breakthrough. But if you trust your own belief, you can carry it long enough for others to catch up. And that's the rule we're smashing today, the rule that other people's approval matters more than your belief in yourself. Let's just call it what it is. Every time you wait for permission, you shrink your vision to fit someone else's comfort zone. And here's the wild part. Half the time the people you're waiting on, they're not even qualified to weigh in. They've never built what you're trying to build. They've never risked what you're willing to risk. And. Yet one skeptical comment from them, and suddenly you're ready to bury your own brilliance that is not protection that is giving away your future. This is why, in strategic unruliness, I talk about radical clarity, because when you're clear on what is yours to do, you stop outsourcing your belief. You stop waiting for someone else to say, yes, you can finally say, This is mine. I'm going to do this whether you approve or not. So here's what you need to know. The most important belief you will ever hold is the one you hold in yourself. Without it, even the best ideas will stall, and with it, even the wildest ideas can take off. So this week, here's your unruly move. I want you to ask yourself, Where am I waiting for approval before I act? Write it down. Be so freaking honest. And then take one step, just one without asking anyone for their permission or approval, prove to yourself that your belief is enough to create momentum. Thanks for listening to get unruly. If today's episode hit home, it would mean the world if you left a quick review, it helps other bull leaders find the show. And if you're ready to go deeper. Check the show notes for two links my radical clarity quiz to uncover the rule running your leadership and early access to my book strategic unruliness out October 21 until next time, stay unruly. You.